I have always prided myself on being a good listener and giving good advice. It really makes me feel good to be able to help people with whatever wisdom I have. Recently I have had some problems with this aspect of my character though. I have been trying to give a friend advice over a fight they are having, and although I have a lot to say it seems to me that my advice might not help at all. The more that I delve into the problem, the less I know about what to do. This makes me really worried because I really love giving helpful advice.
I realized that the problem may have been how close I am to the problem. I recently encountered a really difficult situation in my own personal life and I noticed that I completely fell apart. I couldn’t give myself good advice if it saved my life. On the other hand, a new friend of mine was having a problem with a boy and I gave her some pretty good advice. She even told me that I was a good listener. These events made me realize that I seem to have situational wisdom. I collect the facts of a problem and examine them until I can think of good advice, but I can only use this wisdom on others. Things that are too close to me are hard to deal with.
It is especially hard because of how big my problems seem from the inside. My friends and I recently had a huge talk about our lives and problems and I realized how small my problems were in comparison. This doesn’t change anything as everyone’s problems feel big to them, but it does keep me from seeing things objectively. The problem my friend is having actually started to get closer to me and I froze up. I began to worry that my advice would ruin things and that my friend would have bigger problems. I didn’t know what to do at all.
Although I am still in this bad situation, I hope that by recognizing this problem I can start to see my problems more clearly. The most important thing I have learned is to ask for help if you need it. If a problem seems to big for you, it may be just that. You might need help no matter how situationally wise you are. I still love giving advice and helping people and I always want to be a good listener and pillar of support for my friends. This love can give me the motivation to keep at it despite the doubt.